It was 2015. My husband and I had recently relocated to the U.S. with our three young kids, the youngest barely six months old. The house we rented was a mess, I had no friends yet in this new place, and I had not yet made friends at work. I felt utterly alone and exhausted from trying to juggle everything. My boss called me, asking if I could fly to New Jersey the following week for an in-person team meeting.
My heart was pounding. I heard different voices in my head: “Yes, this is so exciting! I’d love the opportunity to meet my new colleagues in person!” But then, “No, I can’t leave my baby; I’m still breastfeeding! Besides, we just moved across the world—my kids need their mom close!” And yet another voice was saying: “My boss obviously has no idea what my life looks like at that moment.” While these thoughts raced through my head, I heard myself saying, “Oh, sounds exciting! Let me check with my husband to see if he can handle everything here on his own for a few days.”
I booked the flight. The night before I was still working on my presentation in the kitchen while also preparing baby food and pumping extra milk. It was already 2 a.m…Ohh- I wish my mom was here! Or at least if I had one friend…
With mixed emotions, puffy eyes, my breast pump and my computer, I made it on time. There were some fun moments, but also very frustrating ones. When it was finally time to head to the airport, I was holding back tears—(probably due to a combination of work challenges and the full magnitude of the hormonal rollercoaster while your breasts are about to explode!) My then new boss (now one of my best friends and a life-long mentor) casually asked, “So, how is it going for you so far?”
Right then, despite promising myself I wouldn’t, I burst into tears. “Not so good, actually,” I replied, laughing through my tears, already angry at myself for crying in front of my new boss. If there’s one piece of advice I’ve heard over and over, it’s “Don’t cry at work!” And I obviously failed in my first visit!
In retrospect, my authentic response was probably the best thing that happened that week. It opened the door for an honest conversation. It not only shaped our relationship, but his humane and compassionate response shaped my future leadership style: compassionate leadership, human to human, authentic conversations, and really seeing the person in front of you. And yes—it’s OK to cry.
It was the beginning of a beautiful journey
My Philosophy: Embracing Work-Life Synergy
In this fast-paced world, it can be challenging for parents—especially mothers—to juggle professional responsibilities with personal lives, not to mention self-care, which usually comes last. Long hours in meetings, constantly checking emails, traveling when needed, and feeling the pressure to do it all can take a toll on mental and physical health. We often hear that to prevent burnout, we need to set boundaries and separate work life from personal life. But that advice never worked for me.
So, I chose a different path: I don’t try to separate my work life from my family life—it’s all life! My most important insight came from my research on synergy between molecules. I no longer strive for “work-life balance.” Instead, I aim for work-life synergy.
Yes, both can be challenging at times, but just like with molecules and nutrition, integrating them in a way that complements and enhances each other can create synergy, something that is greater than the sum of each alone. And so it naturally unfolded that My kids take part in my work, and my work is deeply integrated into our family life. This helps me work and “play” better because when my husband and kids feel a part of what I do, there is less competition and more engagement.
In fact, my kids contribute to my work by inspiring me to simplify scientific concepts to a level they can understand and relate to. Through these conversations, they offer the coolest ideas and questions, serving as a “test run” to refine my message. You could say I “child-proof” my scientific storytelling.
Ask for Help and Pay It Forward
When I was younger, I was embarrassed to ask for help. But over the years I have realized that sharing your struggles and knowing how to seek help can be a strength—sometimes even a superpower—if combined with genuine effort and a reciprocal approach. So yes, advocate for yourself and share your needs (like asking to start a meeting after dropping off the kids). If it makes your life so much easier and doesn’t inconvenience others, don’t be shy. That said, paying it forward is the other part of that superpower. Identify when someone else is in need and offer the same generosity and flexibility you would like to receive. Creating an environment of “I see you” is key to a better relationship and translates to more effective work
As someone who has moved across the world several times and had to build friendships all over again (and again), I understand the depth of the saying “It takes a village.” Building your tribe is truly life-changing. I’m thankful I was able to build a “family”—a support network of friends, and colleagues who became friends. It deeply comforting to know I can pick up the phone anytime, and they will be there, pick up my kids if I’m late, or be my shoulder to lean on, or remind me that “I can do this!” And I do the same for them.
So my best advice is to cultivate friendships—it is the best investment you will ever make.
Lessons from Product Management: Find the MVP (Minimum Viable Product)
In product management we often use the term Minimum Viable Product. In medicine, it’s the minimum effective dose. And I think the same concept can be applied to many aspects of our lives.
Releasing the strong tendency for perfectionism (which is typical for many women) and identifying the minimum effective dose that’s needed to keep us on track—whether it’s a work project, exercise, or self-care—identifying that sweet spot allows us to be more accurate. It’s about not going below the minimum but also not wasting energy, time, and resources where they’re not needed.
By embracing work-life synergy, asking for help, paying it forward, and finding your MVP in every aspect of life, you can create a life that may not always be perfectly balanced but it will be beautifully integrated.